This picture makes me feel dirty. I don't know whether to lick my computer screen or shield it from my boss' prying, conservative eyes. At first, I just stared at it blankly, my hangdog mouth drooling and agape. Then, after 21-24 minutes of dessert-fugue had passed, and I realized I had literally been licking the area of my face surrounding my lips in chocolaty lust for what amounted to a full episode of Arrested Development, I got to thinking. I don't know if it's the drizzled chocolate or the java buttercream filling, or some combination of both, but this fucking dessert speaks to me. And not just conversationally, "Hey, I'm good food. Wouldn't you like to eat me?" It speaks to me in an Al Green baritone rife with sexual innuendo and intense eroticism. It uses words like, "baby" and phrases like, "get some". And, you know what? I am legitimately turned on by it. That chocolate sammy couldn't be more attractive to me if it was hanging from Heidi Klum's labia. I'm gonn' get me some, baby.