Here's to a true warrior in the fight against the diabolical hangover. Here's to not needing a handful of Advils, 14 glasses of water, and a prayer. And here's to the only morning cocktail named for a virgin deity on the rag. Here's to the Bloody Mary!

We don't need no sunglasses to fight the sun's evil glare. We can sit in the shade cast by our gigantic, overly-garnished glass. We don't need to apologize to those schoolchildren we vomited upon. We'll be that drunk again momentarily. And we don't need to vaguely recall hazy details from the scene of an unidentified stranger's bedroom. We've got breakfast booze!

Which means no more talk of whatsername, whatsisname and what ball gag? No more worrying about those kids with regurgitated taco meat caked into their pleated, flannel skirts. And certainly no more crying about the HJ's, BJ's, and DWI's we both gave and received last night. Because when we can get drunk during breakfast, we can get almost anything. Thank you Bloody Mary, and Happy Friday everyone.